Obituary
November 13th 2011
Johnny Bruton, a perfectly adequate man was taken from us yesterday.
His friends and family mourn his passing, which was, by no means, any fault of his own. I mean, who plays with matches at a gas station? Why was he even there? He doesn’t even own a car! But... I digress….
The many people he tore into death along side him will begrudgingly accompany him on his way to the after life. Johnny will be missed by us all.
His ceremony will be held this Sunday morning at the Memorial Church at 10 o’clock. That, which is left of his body will be cremated as by his request, so that when The Dark Knight Rises and The Avengers comes to theaters, his friends can bring him to watch these highly anticipated films.
When we mourn Johnny Bruton, let us remember his accomplishments in life and if anyone can tell me any, let me know.
We miss you Johnny and I wish I could have given you this advice before you left us; Don’t screw up your afterlife like you screwed up your life.
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